What you didn't know about the surgery..

I am a CHD mommy:

I will have my outbursts.

I will have my moments where I break down in tears, for no apparent reason.

I will love my child and hold onto her tighter than anyone can imagine.

I will devote my life to my child, like tomorrow may be my last…

 

I am a CHD mommy.

 

This is what I saw when I walked into Room 316 of Baptist's PICU on March 16th, 2010. Initially I wasn't going to share these pictures publically, but then I decided I owe it to you guys. Those of you that have been following Jaida and I (through this blog) since day one, deserve to know the whole truth and reality of what this tiny angel (& our family) went through. Another reason I decided to share these pictures is because I have been explaining in several of my posts that preparation was what kept me sane. Well I know for sure that one day, somewhere, there will be a heart mommy that will come across this blog.. and she will be looking for answers. She will ask God why this happened to her child, she will want to know what to expect, and she will probably be scared after looking at these photos. The truth is..this was the reality of the situation. The good news is that it WILL GET BETTER. Remember this: one step forward, two steps back. He or she will get better then get worse and then get better. This Tuesday, April 6th will be three weeks since Jaidy's surgery. She hasn't even hit the three week mark and look at her:

The point of this post is not to scare anyone or make you sad. I decided if I was going to share Jaida's heart journey with the world, I wanted to share the whole journey, not just what I think people will WANT to see. As you can see from the pictures above my daughter is an angel. By looking at her you would never be able to tell that she was ever sick. For me, she is perfect. Always has been- always will be. If you find yourself in this same situation, or something similar just remember that God doesn't leave things unfinished and just like He healed Jaida- He will heal your child (or family member, or friend, or whomever you may know..) the same way. That is why He is called "Healer." Don't give up on God- He will never give up on you.

On a completely different note-- I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter. I know I did. Mrs. Marte said it best..Today is the best day in national history.. no day will ever be greater than this..except the day I die.

Psalm 34:1-10, 15, 17-18

I bless GOD every chance I get;

my lungs expand with his praise.

I live and breathe GOD;

if things aren’t going well, hear this and be happy:

Join me in spreading the news;

together let’s get the word out.

GOD met me more than halfway,

he freed me from my anxious fears.

Look at him; give him your warmest smile.

Never hide your feelings from him.

When I was desperate, I called out,

and GOD got me out of a tight spot.

GOD’s angel sets up a circle of

protection around us while we pray.

Open your mouth and taste, open your eyes and see—

how good GOD is.

Blessed are you who run to him.

Worship GOD if you want the best;

worship opens doors to all his goodness.

Young lions on the prowl get hungry,

but GOD-seekers are full of God…

GOD keeps an eye on his friends,

his ears pick up every moan and groan.

Is anyone crying for help? GOD is listening,

ready to rescue you.

If your heart is broken, you’ll find GOD right there;

if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath.

Isaiah 61:7

“Because you got a double dose of trouble

and more than your share of contempt,

Your inheritance in the land will be doubled

and your joy go on forever.”

Thank you Jesus!

 

(*Disclaimer: this blog was created by me simply to share my own personal opinions, experiences, and views with you. Being a Christian, I will be referring to religious content. I am in no way trying to shape your religious views and I am not necessarily stating complete facts at all times. Again, these are my own personal views. I hope I do not offend anyone in anyway, and if I do I apologize in advance. Thank you!*) 

I first want to apologize for not writing on here in a few days. Since we've been home I've been pretty busy getting used to "normal life" again. I definitely will keep writing regularly again (maybe not every day) but perhaps every other or so. Initially I created this blog simply to share Jaida's heart journey with friends and family near and far.. and then after a few requests to continue blogging and some in depth thought, i've decided that it would be silly and meaningless to stop blogging just because Jaida is out of the hospital. After all, Jaida's heart journey didn't end at the hospital. Once a heart baby.. always a heart baby. Anyways, this particular blog may be completely off the wall.. but it will carry some meaning, and hopefully will leave you with a little more faith and hope than you came here with. 

Okay.. here goes; A few people have asked me how I remained so positive and strong throughout this whole ordeal. The truth is there are several factors that helped me along the way. I'm going to try and explain what helped me during what I believe has been the biggest test of my lifetime thus far. First and foremost as I mentioned in earlier posts, I prepared myself big time for this simply by reading. From the time I was 22 weeks pregnant and found out about Jaida's heart, I was researching. I can't stress enough how important it was to mentally prepared for everything I was going to endure. I surrounded myself with other heart moms and listened to their experiences. I also looked online for other Tet moms like myself whose children already had their tet repairs done. I didn't focus much on the medical side of this CHD after the initial diagnosis simply because websites like WebMD and Wikipedia can only give so much information, you know? It put me at ease to read what "normal" people just like me and you did in the same situation I was in. The second key factor that helped me remain positive was finding a support group. Supernatural blessings occur on a daily basis in my church. Being in the presence of greatness and placing myself and my daughter in a positive light at all times helped me focus more on my faith. Month after month turned into week after week, which then turned into day by day prayers coming from all around the world. The word traveled from mouths in our church, to their family members near and far-as well as to different church affiliations such as miracle conferences where I presented my daughter's special heart in front of hundreds of people, declaring a supernatural healing on her and asking for mouths to move in prayers as God blessed her heart entirely. Which brings me to the most important key factor in all of this. My faith in Jesus Christ. My strength directly is a result of Him. He must have touched my body and soul while I was sleeping and gave me the confidence in Him that I needed to get through such a difficult task. At times the devil wanted to wreak havoc in my life and put negative thoughts and what-ifs into my brain. However, Jesus Christ as usual, overpowered any and everything evil that came about. You see, I have a huge philosophy on the nasty devil..We know that sickness and death entered the world when Adam and Eve committed the first sin which condemned mankind. In the Garden of Eden, there was no violence, no sickness, and no death. Simply put, it was the Heaven on earth. Then, when Adam and Eve were banished from Eden, the curse was laid upon mankind... then the first murder occurred, then war, etc.. God did not cause the diseases.. it was all apart of the curse because man chose to disobey God to begin with. (Which is why non believers have such difficult tasks to overcome.. without God it will be impossible!!) So now we have to live with it.. the good and the bad of this world. Outside of Eden, this world we live in is satan's playground. This is where he snares his prey and if you let him, you become a victim. It's a matter of choice. Many people don't realize that we are actually engaged in a supernatural battle and the prize is our soul. Everything that we experience here on earth boils down to the battle for man's soul. Who will possess it in the end is decided by you and I, by what we believe in, by the choices we make, and by the paths we choose to take. Good or bad, right or wrong, truth or false..it is our decision to choose. It just so happens I am a believer of Jesus Christ. I am a full-fledged follower of Him and everything He is. I believe He died on the cross for OUR sins, and I believe that He is the ultimate healer. and Redeemer. Never did it cross my mind that HE would let me or Jaida down. That comfort kept my mind peaceful and at ease for nine long days. I actually went to the Passion play here in Jacksonville on Sunday. The images are still running through my head, and I can't help but to mention how beautiful everything was set up there. Now that Resurrection Sunday is approaching I think these things are the most important facts to remember: All of the other Biblical sacrifices died..the lamb, the goat, and the bird..never to be seen again. However, Jesus Christ rose again. That's a really big deal. Probably the most important event that has ever occurred in 7,000 years.. or actually..EVER in human history..the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. A one-hundred percent man, that was one-hundred percent God died a horrible death and then THREE DAYS LATER raised himself from His tomb... rolled away a several ton rock,..and then walked out still bearing the holes in his hands and feet ... the marks of the price he paid on our behalf. If I don't speak to you before hand, Happy Easter everyone.. I hope this blog lifted your spirits a bit and gave you a little insight on what helped me through this difficult time in my life. God bless you, I love you.. take care!